that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
