i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
