id be glad to
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
