He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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