vagina is talking i cant
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
My ATM looks so different sober.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
