5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
