If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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