College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
