I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
