just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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