why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
