How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
