Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize