; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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