Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I have so many feelings about this burrito
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
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