you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
