Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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