I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
