You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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