how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I want to fling myself into the sun
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize