Non-Jews are for practice
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
