I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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