what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
