Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
