I can tuck mytits in my pants
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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