where am i from again
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
