i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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