I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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