ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
They have beer where we have blood.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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