i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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