he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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