you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
