So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
