Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
