I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
