This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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