I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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