Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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