Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
