You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
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