If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
