happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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