last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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