She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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