her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
