my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
