It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
