I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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