I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
