Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
