I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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