not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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