Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
