cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
