Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize