ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
