Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
