Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
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