at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Randomize
