Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
