McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
he laminated a picture of his dick.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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