During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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