Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Randomize
