he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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