So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
