last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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