I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
